Catching Up

Marissa,

It's come to my attention that I haven't seen you in forever. The latest indicators have been: 

1.  I can’t recall the last time I saw you in person. (author’s note: it’s probably only been 2 weeks since I saw Marissa when we shared an  awkward wave at a dance party before my group left prematurely)
2. "Betos" or "Hiking the Y" have never been offered as possible suggestions of what we should do when it's late at night in quite some time.
3.  Our Love Sack pillow smells like “dude” and not your Vanilla Perfume goodness....

Instead of waiting for the opportunity to catch up in person,  I thought I’d blogify the experience of how it'd happen......

(Marissa leaves the HBLL.  Adam enters the HBLL to mix up the studying routine.  You know how it is....)

M: Adam!

A: Marissa? Hey, I haven’t seen you in like forever!

M: Wow Adam! Did you quit you job and become a baker? because you’ve got some hot buns!  How’ve you been?

A: Great!  (At this point I would probably say something about 1 of 3 subjects that dominate the "on-campus catching up" conversation: 1. School 2. Work 3. Dealings with the Opposite Sex)

1.    School

Okay, let's be honest: this is the least interesting of the three.  When choosing this option it usually goes something like this at BYU, “Blah blah blah I’m super busy. Blah blah hard…..blah blah Mid-terms… blah blah…papers…blah blah unicorns** ” 

**author's note: okay that last one doesn't usually come up.  But it makes you wonder: where are those animal’s remains?  I would be way more interested in going to a “Unicorn Museum” instead of a “Dinosaur Museum”  I’m looking at you Indiana Jones……no, seriously.  Indiana Jones and the Quest for the Unicorns (oooooh….maybe not Hollywood enough…)  ….That Happen to be Cursed and Protected by Mummies That Explode and Stuff . I think honestly it writes itself....

Indiana Jones and the Quest for the Unicorns That Happen to Be Cursed and Protected by Mummies that Explode and Stuff!

(I seriously wrote this and then found the picture. Apparently, however, some 9 year old girl was way ahead of me)

I know this because this has always been my response.    Turns out, everyone is busy and everyone has hard classes. However, for the first time in my life, I feel excluded from my this demographic of conversationalists!  I’m  loving life/classes. This could also have to do with the fact that  last year's Junior core  drained my time and soul ( It was like my soul had been split and divided into horcruxes without the benefit of potentially being resurrected.  But seriously, I think my life expectancy is like 7 years shorter now.) It's like how laid back the crew seemed to be in Ocean's 12 than in 11.  In 11, they were robbing stuff and being important to make bank.  In 12, I think they were like "No one's really watching this anyway....so let's just chill."

Talking to you at the beginning of the semester, it sounded like this was not the case for you; in which case, you have my condolenses and you can text me for crepes whenever you need them.. (Another perk of the Adam Friendship package!)

Some of this might also have to do with the fact that I’m graduating, and recruiters aren’t really going to be looking at my grades after this semester.  

Which leads me to……

2.      Work

Apparently this (unofficial/official?) Lost Boy has to get a job and try to “contribute” to society (whatever that means right?).  The career adviser always relates how interviewing for a job is like the dating process:

Resume= Application for a Date

Interviews=  Dates

Job Offer= Engagement

Usuing this analogy, I’ve been dating two fine ladies : Ernst and Young and Deloitte.  Honestly, it's sort of been a role reversal from my normal dating experiences. They initiate all phone calls, they pick up the tab at dinner and the cab fare.  I admit, it's been kind of tough since it's been a long-distance relationship (they're both in Washington D.C), but they've been  cool about it and even paid for my flights to go down and see them (Dating rich girls is nice!)

What's been the interest in me? I honestly think they were impressed by the fact that it will have taken me 8 years to become get my bachelor’s. But who knows......

I, honestly, still can't believe they're even considering me.  Mostly because...

A. I've had to restrain myself  from responding to the question, ” “What’s your greatest weakness?” with “Kryptonite”  

B. Every airplane ride when I sit next to the "business guy" and he sees me dressed as his equal, I feel a sudden need to try and validate myself by saying something business-y like, "Did you see the Dow this morning? Oooh, glad I got out when I did." or  "How's your portfolio?" All of which would be immediately discredited when I watch reruns of "Pinky and the Brain" the rest of the trip.......Oh, Pinky and your shananigans!

C.  Everytime I enter my hotel room, I start jumping on my the bed a la "Dumb and Dumber"....

3. Dealings with the Opposite Sex

In my case this means girls. And yeaaaaaah, I still don’t get them.  Girls are like all Jackson Pollock Paintings: I think they're wonderful and admire the heck out of them....... but I honestly don't understand them at all...

(seriously, what is the guy going for here?)

So, in closing,  this has been fun, but I'd rather actually do this in person sometime.  Take care!

- Adam

Birthday Follower Shout Out: Emma Harper!!!!

Once upon a there was a girl named Emma who became our friend, cemented that friendship by following MAP, and then continued gracing us with her presence and smile.  There is no climax to that story because, like the story, Emma is just even-keeled awesomeness.

As promised to our followers,  we are honoring Emma's birth with a blogging shout-out!

In an attempt for Emma to truly have a "Happy Birthday," below is  a non-comprehensive list of things that make Emma happy!



#1. The LoveSac

I might have to re-do the story at the beginning because she actually might have made friends with the LoveSac before us....

#2.  Her Rockin' Hair and the Ability it has to do this in the pool*:

* The author is not implying nor suggesting that Emma's hair has the power or ability to dye its tips blonde by merely being in the pool.  However, this does not undermine its supernatural power to shape itself and go 80s rockers style all over ya!

#3 - #74 Wedding Chapels!!!!

Driving through chapel-filled Vegas with Emma  is like taking a dog to a tennis ball store run by postal workers. I'm convinced that Emma's cloud in heaven will decorated with gentle white chapels at every corner.



#75. Constellations

Emma has the innate ability to discover constellations and their corresponding stories.  While many astronomers are baffled at how they missed these celestial treasures, I think I found one that even Emma may have missed:

Happy Birthday From MAP Emma!!!!

Single or Desperate?

Someone hung this sign on the Dojo last night:

So apparently the official status is not single or desperate, but Singe. Whoever wrote that must have either been a really really bad speller or wrote it really late at night(maybe around 2am).

Ok, cats out of the bag, it was me and Amanda. We thought we would give our friend Kirt a hand and advertise his singleness a little bit...And we figured the best way to do this would be to post this gorgeous picture of him on everyone's doors:

photo cred: Gentry Davies

Snap this up quick ladies! You should already have his number, it's on the bottom of the flyer on your door.

Special Guest Blogger: From Jodi, With Love

Hello people of MAP! If you were getting bored of Adam and Marissa writing love letters to each other you're in for a treat today. A few weeks ago Adam presented me with my own pair of blogging glasses and the opportunity to guest blog on his own rapidly growing, wildly popular blog. I took the assignment seriously and started out by getting professional headshots with my new glasses.

I put the glasses on and began brainstorming things to blog about since Adam gave me full reign on this one. The power of the glasses came to me and ideas started coursing through my mind. A discussion of the finer points of 19th century feminist literature, creating a tutorial on torrenting (they always say the best way to solidify a new skill is to teach it to others), or a video of me singing "Superbass" along with a lyric interpretation all crossed my mind but I thought I needed to do something more personal on this one. I pondered this on the metro and started noticing some similarities and differences between my two good friends and the Russians and decided to blog about this instead.

Why Marissa and Adam do/do not belong in Russia:

Marrisa:

Does fit in because she has adorable shoes and all the girls here wear cute shoes all the time. They also have a tendency to meticulously match their purses to their shoes, down to the same pattern, but I haven't seen Marissa do this. They have TONS of shoe stores and oxford heels are all the rage right now. I'm determined to get a pair soon.

Doesn't fit in because she doesn't dye her hair. Particularly she doesn't dye it this horrible reddish orange color that people are obsessed with over here. I just don't get it. It is so ugly. Thank you for having beautiful hair, Marissa.


Does fit in because she can pull off a pretty convincing death glare, even though she is actually really sweet =]

Adam:

Does fit in because he is tall. I looked up the average height of Russians and it turns out they are actually 2 inches shorter than Americans on average, but I am convinced the large babushka population for skews the data because I am constantly in awe of how tall people are here.

Does fit in because he is a bad parker. It is pretty frightening to be in a car with a Russian driver because they make up their own lanes and cut people off like it's no body's business, but somehow the system works just fine (Adam does NOT drive like a Russian). But when I saw this car I couldn't help but laugh because it looks just like how Adam parks.

Doesn't fit in because he has the biggest smile in the world.

And in closing, a poem of Russia.

Violets are red

Roses are blue

In Soviet Russia flower smell you.

End of Summer....

"What we have once enjoyed we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us."
 - Helen Keller

 Goodbye Summer 2011!  May we "Party Rock" all Fall long!

Blogging: Sunday Edition

In Relief Society we have this thing called, "Tender Mercies Moment" we also have at least 3 other "sharing moments," but this is the most important one because it's what we do first and it always involves the most oohing, aahing, and general gasping of all the females in the room. I told Adam about this and introduced him to the idea and we thought we could do the same for our blog.  We hope that it causes you to ooh, aah, and gasp in happiness at the the amazing things we find to be grateful for each week. 

Things we are grateful for this week

1. Adam is alive.  More details to come but let's just say Adam could be mistaken for the "Boy who lived"..... (TEASER ALERT!!)

2. Shark week has changed us for the better.....

3. Jodi turned another year older.....well, almost....

4. Having a place to live..... well, for the next four days

5.  Work.... ( Sometimes if I say things enough it comes true.  Love my work, love my work, love my work...)

6. Gentry really, really, really remembers his girlfriend's birthday.

7. Mothers and the way they supports us (shout out Mommy Gina and Mama Chris)

8...... ellipsis. Gosh I love them..........

9.  The red line that appears when you misspell a word...like ellipsis.....

10.  All 15 followers and how they tell their friends:) hint, hint ;)

11. Gentry's secret love of Dashboard

12. Amanda's secret life

13. The fact that it's impossible to not smile after watching the Snicker Serenade....

14. Tim's Mad Interpretive Sign Language Skills

15. MONDAYS(Since it's technically a Monday now.......................)

The Ratings Boost: I've Got a Fever, and the Only Prescription is MORE GENTRY!!!!

So after reading the Princess' heartfelt letter to me, I thanked her in person for her thoughtfulness instead of blogging about it (sorry M.A.P followers!  But, the good thing about Marissa is that she is so full of goodness that I'm sure I'll get the chance to write her a letter via blogging on numerous more occasions!).


From her letter, I learned a trio of things:


1. I now have 7 more items to beef up the old resume (IN YOUR FACE FAILING ECONOMY!!!!)


2.  Marissa really is a princess and a saint, and will hopefully let me use her pool by her mansion in the next life for when I get hot....


3.  Apparently when a blog post says "Dear Adam," people not named Adam are very respectful of other people's letters and elect not to indulge themselves to read it. much.   In fact, our stats say that the post  only had 1 page view ( In an effort to make myself feel cooler, I tried to click on it twice,  but I think blooger.com can tell when your trying to be pathetic.)


In other words, we really need to boost our numbers here lately....


So, I looked at our dats again (cause I'm a nerd who wears 3D glasses when blogging), and looked for the post that had the most page views.


Lo and behold, the numbers point to one thing that boosts are ratings: GENTRY DAVIES!




 (The "Happy Birthday Gentry!" post is just KILLING!)

(the look of sheer blog following magnetism)

So, from here on out, anytime we feel that what we're writing is getting long and boring, we will immediately type GENTRY! just to keep you paying attention.( In other words, you'll be reading a lot more about GENTRY! :)


In honor of this celebrated ratings booster, I've broken down his conversations in pie chart form (I already mentioned I'm a nerd right?)




Enjoy!






GENTRY!!!!!!