Kids, don't try this at Church.....

Let's be clear.  I'm deeply religious, and Mormon (...as if the name "Mormon and Proud" doesn't give it away..)  However, I am also human, and sometimes, despite my best intentions, I doodle, scribble, or altogether write sheets of nothingness on my paper at church on occasion. Yesterday was one of those occasions.

Below is my "Church Journal" blogified. Please forgive my irreverence and for changing from first to third person in the narrative.  I meant no harm...

Church Log

10/23/2011

9:34- Kirt officially dozes off

9:35- Joe makes a lame attempt to join him in "Dreamland," before choosing to remain conscious.... probably out of fear of being "Incepted"

9:37- Speaker's "Poke-you" joke kills!

9:39- Joe relates to me how he assumed I was super spiritual today since I brought a notebook and pen to take notes at church

9:40- For the first time in his life, Joe feels the sensation of  being "wrong."

9:41- Speaker says, "I'm not saying you can't take naps on Sunday..."

9:42- Kirt noddingly agrees...

9:43- Like an infectious virus, Jarom catches the "Sleep Monster Bug" due most likely from not washing his hands after sitting next to Kirt.

9:49- Blonde-haired guy with purple shirt (Hey!  we just moved into the ward so go easy on the judgement, ok?) becomes latest victim.  Probably his own fault seeing how everyone knows purple shirts are the weakest against viruses....

9:50- Joe corrects me and informs me the shirt is actually pink.  Suddenly,  I begin regretting not paying attention more to Kirt's sister, Sydney, and her discussion about "Color Blindness" yesterday...

9:53- Perhaps inspired by the music, Adam feels sudden urge to sign Tim's cast/bandage

9:54- Adam begins to weigh repercussions of hurting his hand to get out of playing goalie this Saturday....

9:56- The realization that the speaker's major is bigger than her settles in on the congregation (Anita is approximately 5'2 and her major had approximately 6 dashes or slashes when describing her major.  I'm not good with conversions so you do the math...)

9: 57 through 10:07- I actually listen attentively and enjoy Anita's introductory story and reflect on how it applies to my life and other aspects of the gospel....

10:08- Disappointed that I haven't written in my "Church Journal" in a while, Joe judges me for trying to learn spiritual things in Sacrament.  It's at this moment that I understand what "unrighteous judgement" means on a whole new level.

10:09- Kirt wakes up from round 2 of "Dreamsville." Claims, "the virus was WAY more ferocious the second time."

10:12- The closing prayer is said and sacrament meeting concludes.  

The End